There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
