ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
