We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
