We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
