I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
