Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Will exercising make me less horny?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
