i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
