I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
