I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
