I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
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