There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
