Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
