like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize