; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
