I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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