someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Gay?
German.
Pity.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
