His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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