We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
