But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
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It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
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I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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