3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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