I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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