I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
