Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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