you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I'm at about main and main street
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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