singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
