Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
