Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
