I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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