never play flip cup with pint glasses
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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