I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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