just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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