can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize