Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
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I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
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Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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