we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
