That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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