Dual....:-)
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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