Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
