he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
