She is in my trunk
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
