The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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