your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
