Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
