i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
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