Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
