I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Is Oprah even human
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
