So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
