As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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