Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize
