we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
