Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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