I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
