Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Someone shattered a urinal.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
