dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
