If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
