do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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