But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
