Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
