i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
