i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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