I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
