So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
My balls are so social today.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
